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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Non-linear

Humans aren't linear.

We don't just progress and progress.

We progress and regress and hopefully progress again.

I wish I could be forward moving like a Hollywood heroine.

But I'm only a line-dancing human girl. Sometimes going frontwards. Other times backwards. Trying to keep up with the music.

(Note: Mr Flowers once asked if we were human or dancer. I think we're probs both. At different times.)


Thursday, 7 November 2013

Sincerity

Do you ever hear yourself saying crap you don't even mean because you like the sound of it? As if you're scared that if you're completely sincere, that you'd be boring? 

Thursday, 31 October 2013

More Than Words

Words, English words are full of echoes, of memories, of associations - naturally. They have been out an about, on people's lips, in their houses, in the streets, in the fields, for so many centuries. And that is one of the chief difficulties in writing them today - that they are so stored with meanings, with memories, that they have contracted so many famous marriages... Our business is to see what we can do with the English language as it is. How can we combine the old words in new orders so that they survive, so that they create beauty, so that they tell the truth? That is the question.

- Virginia Woolf

Thank you Virginia.

I'm not gonna lie and claim that my tendency to post very infrequently is all down to the insane pressure that I put on myself every time I sit down to write... There's a fair bit of lazy that goes into that also.

But the point is: I probably (definitely) take myself waaay to seriously, and for every blogpost that publish, there are at least 3 that I discarded for being what I deemed too cheesy, irrelevant... unoriginal. Which takes me to the above quote... And jeez what a quote.

Words, most words have been used and reused a million times over. They're drenched in connotation, meaning, nuance. And after having watched a talk Tavi Gevinson gave at the Melbourne Writers Festival, I started thinking of how with misplaced piety, I have come to loathe how unoriginal my peers seemed to me... with their Facebook statuses (stati?), tweets, blogs and vlogs. And simultaneously, how self conscious I have become about my own unoriginality [yup, you're right, that probably wasn't a word].

Because is a struggle to achieve what Virginia's described... combining old words in a new order to create beauty and tell the truth.

So my point is that perhaps we should throw it out there anyway... Most of the time we'll probably just be churning out the same old stuff... But how will we ever find those magical new ways of ordering words if we don't just talk or discuss or post about the things we genuinely love.

I think it's through that sincere love for what we discuss that the new and magical ways of ordering words come.

(And now to quash that mandatory post-publishing feeling that it all could've been a lot more eloquent).

Monday, 21 October 2013

On validation

If Facebook/Tweets/Instagram posts are our highlight reels...  are likes/comments/retweets ticks of approval? And is it ok to feel and enjoy that validation? And are our lives more full or deprived because of this?

#IDunno

Friday, 26 July 2013

Being Scared

So I got a job right. Exciting stuff really. (I'd been at home with the not-so-baby-anymore for three and a half years)

The thing that I'm most struck by is new-ness. Creating new pathways in my brain (can you still do that the ripe old age of 25 years scientists?) and revisiting old, cobweb-y ones.

Feeling challenged once again and finding out that surprisingly, I'm liking (though not always enjoying) the feeling.

But mostly, I'm scared shitless. Of stuffing up obviously, but mostly just of the new-ness of it all.

I read somewhere that you should do one thing that scares you every day. Now personally I think that might be too much for my poor heart but I think I'm finally realising the importance of feeling scared at all.

It gets the juices going. The survival juices. The creative juices. The learning juices. Basically all the juices.

Save cranberry. I've never been fond of the stuff and would much prefer that they stay put.




Sunday, 21 July 2013

At the end...

... the most unexpected song/phrase/place would bring forth hidden memories of times long gone. This hurts.

... you're blinded and frustrated and angered by all the hurt.

... the memories of the beginning are almost unbearable because of all the promise beginnings hold... and knowing that some promises will and can never be kept. Maybe it's for the best.

... the guilt for all the things you did wrong can be debilitating.

... you realise that unlike Hollywood movies, sometimes there isn't an picturesque sunrise and a moment of utter understanding... an epiphany. Just a slow and eventual change in your thought process, heart and priorities.

At the end you move on.




Monday, 29 April 2013

Who said?

Sometimes it gets hard to differentiate what it is exactly that I truly want and want to achieve in life and what I think I should want.

Quite often I find myself censoring myself as I'm about to divulge some intimate part of myself. An earnest dream or hope. I'm held back by not wanting to seem to have gall. I hesitate so that I don't make myself out to be more than I ought to be. Allowing myself to only want what I think I deserve.

I am the opposite of a rapper.

What I can never work out though is where I ever got these notions. Who implanted these standards into my subconscious? Why are they so hard to shake?

It all reminds me of that Mary Poppins song, Step In Time, (with the chimney sweepers). As if there's a chimney sweeper in my head making sure that my thoughts all step in time. Never to deviate, wonder, go out on a tangent...

You can't say that. You can't be that.

But really.

Who said?

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Internal dialogue

Yesterday at lunch, I found myself in a familiar position at the bakery choosing what to have. My usual was a roast beef roll but this day I was distracted by a fish roll thing-y which was pretty much a piece of deep fried fish in a white bun with a generous dollop of tartare sauce heaped onto it.

I was tempted. 

I resisted. Well, attempted to. I told my myself: "You really ought not to". 

I bought it eventually. And felt sick afterwards. 

I realise now, I should've told myself: "You don't want to". 

I never listen to myself when referring to the theoretical. 

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Forever.

"... hopefully it'll last forever. Well... probably not forever.

Forever is an incorrect concept."

- John Green... once again. I know. Bear with me, he's my hero.)

Monday, 4 March 2013

Made up stories Matter

"Neither novels nor their readers benefit from attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside of a story. Such efforts attack at the very idea that made up stories can matter. Which is sorta the foundational assumption of our species."

John Green

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

The Only Constant

I turn 25 this year.

And that semi freaks me out.

Not because I think I'm already too old (I'm only just getting started!) or because I feel like I haven't achieved what I thought I would by 25.

Ok... Maybe there is a little of that too.

But mostly...

But mostly because I've only come to realise that the only thing constant in life, the only you can really count on from the world... is that time will always move on.
As a kid and young adult, I've always kinda seen each day as individual units, with their own self contained victories and failures.
I'm only starting to appreciate how every day, thing and person is just part of a fabric... a tapestry of life.

This means that every day will have a massive affect on what the next day will be like, but at the same time bring comfort for the things not done because, well, it's all part of a long journey anyway. We'll get to it eventually..

And yes, I've only just realised this. Next week, how to use that television device thing that sits in the living room. #SoCuttingEdge


Monday, 25 February 2013

Oh look! She has another blog!

Sooooo remember how I'm a beauty lover/addict/insane person that owns too much nail polish?

Well I finally have an outlet for these worrying but fortunately common (well, in the fairer sex anyway) obsessions. In other words, I have a new beauty blog!

Here it is linked: The Beauty Isle

Do join me on a journey of beauty discoveries, product reviews, hauls (well... maybe don't expect too many of these...), skincare, makeup (golly possibly even haircare if we all put our heads together and work out what to truly do about this cray cray Islander hair) and other adventures that we are yet to imagine at this time. Cos ya know, when dealing with a lick of lipstick and a sprinkling of blush... ya never know what's gonna happen!

;)

I'll still be blogging here on all things "non-beauty" and "more-lifey" but I just wanted to create a space purely for the face gunk talk.

Cuddles,

Donna xx


Sunday, 24 February 2013

Things that movies take for granted

1. Complexion.
Everyone just gets good skin. By default.

2. Normal bodily functions... what normal bodily functions?
"Romantic" scenes that follow day long montages of sweat-inducing activities always irks me. And no one ever has the misfortune of having their "time of the month" at inconvenient moments (I'm looking at you spontaneous-skinny-dipping scene).

3. Natural conversation.
Unless  you're watching one of Apatow's offerings, chances are the conversation will flow effortlessly, especially in a meet cute. Or at least be the cute brand of awkward. You know, when the guy's jokes are charmingly inappropriate and the girl's laugh a tinkling aural delight. In my personal experience, I tend to be at my worst when I fancy someone. An adorable little romcom heroine, I am not.

Characters so cute that I had to write this post to explain to my jealous self how my life isn't a movie






Thursday, 17 January 2013

This year...

I will have no official resolutions to fall short of, I've decided.

Instead, I want only to feel the satisfaction of ticking off daily tasks I set for myself. The mini steps by which larger leaps are made.

How are your 2013s (our years/months/days are individual to each of us, no?) going? And resolutions or are you also resolving not to? ;)

xx

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Ruiner

I have this really annoying thing where as I am watching or reading something...

... or even as someone is telling me a story...

... I try and guess the ending. Or when all these described events will culminate.

And when I do learn the ending or the point... I'm more preoccupied with how close I came than by the gist of the poor storyteller's tale.

And it ruins the story for the both of us.

Why do I do this?

ps. I've been obsessed with this song of late...

[I've decided that I want to post more frequently what I'm listening to as music tends to act as litmus paper indicating as to the state of mind] 

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Resolutions, Resolutions

Question: Have you ever made a New Years Resolution and... wait for it... stuck to it? For more than a month? Hell, for even the entire year?

I'd be more than interested to know.

Reason being, I've always made resolutions. Religiously. And of course, abandoned them by Febuary. Or before. Religiously.
And the reason I ask is if any one of you have actually stuck to one, I'd like to know... How does one actually do that? 

I probably sound like quite the unfortunate, unresolved human so I'll stop now.

I think I just feel a bit listless today.

I think I don't like gray, overcast days.

I think eating overly processed, fatty food for days on end can and will catch up to you.

I think I need to be stereotypical and contemplate a new years detox.

I think my next blog post should be a more optimistic one.

I think you all are pretty darned cool sticking with me, considering the shockingly inconsistent posts last year.

Happy New Year my lovelies, may this arbitrary thing we call a new year be more awesome than the last. :)

Love Donna xx