Pages

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Resolution

Hey does the New Year always bring to mind one song in particular?

For me, it's this guy:


Its funny though cos it's such a melancholy, unoptimistic song... not at all how you'd imagine one should feel on New Years and certainly not the tone that you'd expect a song called Resolution to take... but there you go.

2014 for me has been for the most part, very difficult. And of course this term "difficult" is as subjective as it always is. I mean, gosh darnnit I've recently read Beyond the Beautiful Forevers and my "very difficult" would be any of the characters' "walk in the park".
But this is how I felt.
Like I was running on a treadmill and just couldn't for the life of me keep up the pace.
Like I was child dressed in oversized adult clothes and pretending to speak adult words.
Like an open wound that needed attention and to be dressed and treated.
But also... at times.... like a ridiculously giddy butterfly whose mind is blown by the all the possibilities post-cocoon break.

It was certainly a time of growth and of course this is never comfortable. But more than anything, it was a time of self discovery... not in a waffly, hippy finding-myself kinda way... but in a challenging my core beliefs and expectations of both myself and the world around me and it's occupants way.
Which is great in hindsight, post-processing... but in the moment... well in the moment it sucked lol

So before 2014 ends and 2015 begins...I'll just take a minute to be down. Just a minute.

And when that's over. I'll get up, balls in hand and look 2015 square in the eye and dare it to do it's worst.