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Friday, 4 December 2015

On marrying oneself

The only relationship I'm ever going to have with another person, is the one I'm already having with myself.

Tracy McMillan

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

On shutting up

If I spoke less, I would probably decrease the number of things I regret by at least a half.

Monday, 2 November 2015

On Narrating One's Own Life

I spend a lot of time consuming various forms of creative content. Books, movies, podcasts, tv shows, youtube videos, blogs, random articles whose links are littered across my facebook feed. To name a few.

And it results in some interesting behaviours and observations.

For one, this constant escapism makes my life seem so stark in contrast. So boring and yet so unbearably full all at the same time. A life that is made up of a  seemingly mundane daily routine, within which infinite complexities are contained. Because of course they contain me and other real life humans. 

Another tendency arising from my steady consumption is my habitual and constant mental narration of my own life.
Now I know you may be thinking, well of course we're all stuck in our own heads, forced to forever be prisoners of our own consciousness... But this is different.
It's more... Everyday as I'm living moment to moment I'm narrating my life in what could be snappy tweets or thought provoking facebook statuses.
Like a Kardashian or cast member of Modern Family. 

It takes me out of the moment and makes more an observer or it or someone who is reflecting back on it rather than living it. 

It's disconcerting. To say the least.

So...

I will breathe. I will notice my in breath then my out breath. And my stomach rising and falling. And I will once again recognise that I am in that moment and will never again be in this particular moment. And acknowledge that life is constructed from moments, one after the other after other. And engage in all the silmultaneous complexities and simplicites of each moment.

Well, I'll try.

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Defence

Ok.

So sometimes, when I notice something that a friend does very well, I often times get very defensive about my own abilities.

I wanna justify myself.

I wanna rationalise to myself why I can't do that or do it as well.

And mostly, I wanna reinstate myself as being a more worthwhile person in my head.

This fragility can't be healthy. 

Sunday, 23 August 2015

Yearning

What is about humans and the constant yearning?

I love that song Just My Imagination. You know the one. The Temptations. Re-done by Gwyneth Paltrow and Babyface in the late nineties. 
It reminds me of how, no longer how content I am with myself or that day or the time I'm having, I'm always yearning for something else. And it's a deep yearning. Reminiscent of an impressionable teen, half heartbroken with premature conviction that it will never be.

Why all the melodrama?

What is it with humans and their propensity to desire even unknown things? Things we haven't even fathomed yet?

Today when it came, I allowed it fill my chest and then after a time, it started to leech back out of my pores.

Even as I said bye, I couldn't understand why. 


Thursday, 1 January 2015

My Actual Resolutions

To be kinder than I have to. (Thanks Mirren)

To take care of my body and hope that this takes care of my skin.

To read to Nutty nightly.

... and that's all :)

How about you?

Blogpost soundtrack:

Will this song ever fail to move me??? (Yes... I just used the term 'move'. It's ok... you'll live)

Happy New Years folks and may all your resolutions come to fruition. 

Stay sexy.