They calm and numb.
Firstly, calm. Now this can't seem even remotely wrong right?
Quite often the storm of emotion I'm struggling with needs to be felt. Maybe not right then, because, life and appropriate behaviour in certain contexts etc etc
But eventually. And with honestly.
But with the swipe of a phone and the click of a button, these feelings and thoughts are stilled. Only to be revisited when they've gained a couple pounds.
Secondly, numb. Similar to all the aforementioned points I guess. All this intentional mindlessness.
Sounds like an oxymoron... Intentional mindlessness. What once was a noble quest to streamline ones thoughts and intention has soured into something dysfunctional, veering toward dangerous.
Put down your phone Donna. Even when you're on the train and it seems to be all that's left to do. Even when there's a lull in the conversation and the silence is ringing too loudly in your ear. Even when it's the commercial break.
Check in with yourself. Your fb feed can wait.